Sosi in Sendai

Sifa is here!! He's been amazing, from doing cultural lessons with me in school and my ekaiwa, to helping me clean up, sort out and pack up.

We had an extra day, so we decided to spend it up in Sendai to check out the shopping and pretty lights for the starlight festival.

Next stop, OSAKA!!

tired of being tired

I'm not sleepy yet. I think it's because I don't have enough to do. because when I do more, I can sleep at a more reasonable hour. but when I don't have anything to do, I have to wait until now plus about an hour of tossing and turning to get any sleep.

I'm pretty sure that most people think that I'm nuts for the amount of work that I 'put on myself', for the amount of balls I have up in the air and all of the things that I type up, plan, analyse, research, do. But it's not about actually doing those things. hardly at all. I don't type up countless scores of lessons that quite possibly aren't going to be used again because I want to gain some recognition or something, I don't make up ridiculous amounts of movies and blogs because I want to become famous. I am bored. I am continuously restless and my mind is always searching for something to think about.

In Aotearoa this year, I was juggling a 40 hour a week job, a secondary job running my girls group, going out about 4 times a week (including almost all-nighters) and normally an 'okay' fitness level. Then I could sleep pretty well.

This Japan, I have struggled to be able to find projects to do. I have completed projects that I have been juggling for a long time, I have started and finished other projects that other people might not find the time to do.. because for some really annoying reason, I have programmed my body to think that almost every waking hour must be completely filled with activity, and if it's not, then I won't be tired when it comes to 10pm, 11pm, 12pm, 1am....

I know this isn't normal because people are always telling me to calm down, take things slower, that I'm going hard out or that maybe I should let other people think things through and do it themselves instead of me taking over. So why do I have to be like this. I don't know if I was always like this or if it's something that I've become addicted to overtime - the rush of anxiety levels, the adrenaline my body creates when stress levels are just a bit too high. Or if it's just natural for me to only need to sleep 5 hours a night and never have quiet hands.

I hope, I really hope that when Sifa comes, I might relax. That I might just be able to think ' hey, lets just lax', or that I could fall asleep easily between 9pm and 11pm.

Night.

Tomioka Schools at a glance..

I've kinda realised that I haven't got anything much up about my schools and kids!! This is partly due to my social work thinking that the kids I work with are sacred and shouldn't be exploited on my personal blog (mainly because when I am social working - my kids are normally 'troubled' and so it would be identifying them as such). The other reason is that I don't actually have much to show... but here is a slide show of different photos I've taken of the youth, they are typical Japanese kids and I reckon most of the time fun fun fun!!

The bad kids aren't even bad and are just rebelling enough to find their identity, all of them are sooo good in school and listen to everything in class and try pretty hard.

SNOW!!!

It's cold now, reallllllyyyy cold. and last week, another ALT and I were doing a lesson on Christmas (yaya!! haha) and it started to snow outside!

I couldn't believe it and kept staring out the window .. it's pretty damn amazing aye. love it! hehe.

Star Jumps and farts

Mum reckons that if I do 15-20 starjumps (depending on my 'body type') I'll be warm for an hour.
That's the kind of thought-framework that I come from.
brilliant. thanks mum.

Dad did a fart in Auckland and blamed it on me - I'm in Japan.
That's the kind of reaction-framework that I come from.
choice. onto it dad.

My family sets up a laptop in the kitchen and then walk away when I'm talking to them on skype. they then walk past it several times smiling at me, pretending to walk up and down stairs, falling into holes etc.
That's the kind of humour-framework that I come from.
brilliant. kia ora whanau.

now you know why I am like I am.

knitting is the new tagging

yep mate. bet ya didn't see this one coming. I am the pro-ess of the knitting world this side of the Fukushima coasties ALTS. booya. betta watch out yo.

I've mastered the basic knit, but am now attempting the knit-purl combination. kids, don't try this at home. actually, do. it's the new tagging!! haha.

check out the photos of scarfs I've knitted already and my new adventure into knit-purl video :)

big ups to the aunties - it's harder than it looks when you do it! haha!




My latest works of wonder are below, don't look if you know your getting a scarf from me for xmas...

Resignation

Well, I decided to hand in my notice at work. Gave it to my supervisor today. It's a long story, but here are the bullet points of it...

• I am a tape player or desk minder for 7 hours of my 8-hour working day. Coming from an incredibly fast paced and youth initiative focused job, this was too much to grasp. Call me a lesser-woman for it, but I can't handle a time-wasting job.
  
• I am not given any responsibility nor challenges - as above point reasonings.
• I have not been given any hope for the position to change, even with complaints made, meetings held and on-going discussions - including a fully fledged proposal to develop my role written by myself.
  
• I want to be with my family for some very special occasions coming up (new baby, first marriage).
• I want to be with the boy I've fallen head over heels in love with - in New Zealand.
• I have the opportunity to possibly become a part of a new youth initiative in Auckland that I had my part in developing earlier in the year.
• I have realised my complete passion and devotion to working within the Social Work/ Community Field and can't wait to get back into it!!
  

The reactions that I received from my supervisor and Japanese Teacher were;

• Utter surprise and shock - even though I had been complaining that I was unhappy and telling them that I would leave if it didn't get better.
• Self-defence in checking to make sure that they were not going to be blamed as at fault.
• Reacting as if they could solve the problem I was causing "'so, you hope to hand in resignation?" "no. this IS my resignation" "huh?"

I suppose I should feel relieved; relieved that I now have a much shorter time frame where I will be bored out of my brain doing nothing remotely helpful for anything - during the week atleast. But I mainly feel disappointed. I feel let down. I really feel I have tried here, and even with all of the complications at home, I truly think that if I did love this job, even slightly, then I would have worked it out to remain in Japan. Japan is amazing and such a unique culture, I know I will be back - but not ever as an ALT.

So! the TNT experience has been shortened drastically from 12 months, to 5 months in total. I plan to leave Tomioka on the 22nd of December, bound for cousins over Christmas and New Years and then through Hong Kong - Guangzhou - Naam Ling Tsuen - New Zealand.

Looking forward to my now much lesser 9-10 weeks left over here, and feeling a bit sad at the loss of the possibility.