Resignation

Well, I decided to hand in my notice at work. Gave it to my supervisor today. It's a long story, but here are the bullet points of it...

• I am a tape player or desk minder for 7 hours of my 8-hour working day. Coming from an incredibly fast paced and youth initiative focused job, this was too much to grasp. Call me a lesser-woman for it, but I can't handle a time-wasting job.
  
• I am not given any responsibility nor challenges - as above point reasonings.
• I have not been given any hope for the position to change, even with complaints made, meetings held and on-going discussions - including a fully fledged proposal to develop my role written by myself.
  
• I want to be with my family for some very special occasions coming up (new baby, first marriage).
• I want to be with the boy I've fallen head over heels in love with - in New Zealand.
• I have the opportunity to possibly become a part of a new youth initiative in Auckland that I had my part in developing earlier in the year.
• I have realised my complete passion and devotion to working within the Social Work/ Community Field and can't wait to get back into it!!
  

The reactions that I received from my supervisor and Japanese Teacher were;

• Utter surprise and shock - even though I had been complaining that I was unhappy and telling them that I would leave if it didn't get better.
• Self-defence in checking to make sure that they were not going to be blamed as at fault.
• Reacting as if they could solve the problem I was causing "'so, you hope to hand in resignation?" "no. this IS my resignation" "huh?"

I suppose I should feel relieved; relieved that I now have a much shorter time frame where I will be bored out of my brain doing nothing remotely helpful for anything - during the week atleast. But I mainly feel disappointed. I feel let down. I really feel I have tried here, and even with all of the complications at home, I truly think that if I did love this job, even slightly, then I would have worked it out to remain in Japan. Japan is amazing and such a unique culture, I know I will be back - but not ever as an ALT.

So! the TNT experience has been shortened drastically from 12 months, to 5 months in total. I plan to leave Tomioka on the 22nd of December, bound for cousins over Christmas and New Years and then through Hong Kong - Guangzhou - Naam Ling Tsuen - New Zealand.

Looking forward to my now much lesser 9-10 weeks left over here, and feeling a bit sad at the loss of the possibility.